Kindness
by mrpoet1992
Summary: A story of how I really feel about life but more inpiticular its about love
1. Chapter 1

Kindness, generosity, helpful, and I am told by a few that I am an all around good guy. These are the words most of my friends see in me. They say that I will make the perfect husband someday. They say I will be successful in life and do well with my life. They say I'm sweet, cute, and I am called the perfect friend.

Unfortunately, these things are not what I see but instead I look at myself in the mirror and I only see a depressed, old, fat, fading young boy. I may have a smile on the out side but that's not how I deeply feel. Deep at the bottom of my heart, I feel as if I'm withering away in the wind like the autumn leaf blowing softly in the fall air. I get cold and get shivers as I feel myself becoming nothing in life. As I look at my past I feel like a ghost become invisible. At least nevermore will I feel love, being loved, or the feeling of a broken heart. A broken heart bad enough to kill a grown man but at last I will nevermore feel this affection ever again.

At times I feel I'm better off being in my grave. I also think that people would not miss the good I bring in to their lives. As much as I wish I was normal, I am not. I do think what has happened to me in my unfortunate past has made me into the man that I am today.

If only people knew my past but I know they would not fully understand unless they went through it them selves. It is not easy living my life and I am not trying to say that I had more of a horrible life then every one else. Once again, what I have gone through has made me into the man I am today; but who is noticing. Further more, who would want to go out with or be friends with a no body and to take time out of their busy lives to listen to a heart compelling story or just to talk? People my age are still immature, naïve, idiotic, and they just don't care. People my age care about their boyfriends or girlfriends and rather they want to fornicate with them. People my age care about their cell phones, their shoes, their hair and their reputation. So once again I ask who would want to go out or be friends with a no body?


	2. Chapter 2

Today in English class, my teacher Mr. Huggins had asked the class if we knew any one who done anything ridiculous for love and regret it. I silently raised my hand because I had done one thing ridiculous for love and I regret it greatly. But to tell this story, then I must tell it from the beginning.

It all started when I was in the seventh grade, I liked this girl named Madeline Carpenter. I asked her out with in a week of knowing her but she told me that her parents would not let her date until she was six- teen years old. I respected her parents' demands and I waited two years. With in those years I had moved to North Carolina with my mom but in the summer of 2008 I moved back to New York. I got reconnected with Madeline and we hit it off in August of 2008. We went out for two years solid until that unforgettable day. I was at the library and was how Madeline was doing and I clicked on her Facebook page. What I found was heart breaking, depressing, and unforgivable. She was cheating on me with another guy at her school. The only thing I could tell myself was that I wasn't the best that I could be. At that point, I cared less what happened to me. I being abused by my father and step mother through out the years that we were going out. The only thing that kept me from taking my own life or running away was the love that I felt for Madeline. So I went through two years of abuse on top of a broken heart and the only thing that I could think was that something good will happened. It wasn't until my 18th birthday that I was able to get out of that house I call hell and start living my life.

In the end result I regretted ever moving and regretted more by giving a false lover my heart and having it played like a fiddle. But because of what I went through, I learned from it and became the man I am today. Thank God for second chances.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting in the dark half awake half asleep, I a dark shadow leaning on my china cabinet. I try to figure out the shape but I can not, the image is too blurry. I start to wonder if I'm hallucinating but that thought was determined when the mysterious and eerie shadow spoke.

I must admit the voice did sound familiar but I couldn't see the face to put a voice to it. I tried to ask who he was but the shadow said not to worry who he was and then he said that he was here to help me. I started to ponder what help I needed and I started to think and wonder what he was talking about. So then I finally got a word out and asked if he could tell me why he was here other then the fact that he's here to help. In a slow and grim voice he called out my name and said "Michael, I know you have thoughts of suicide, you think that you are a nothing in life, lastly I know that you think that you will never find love like you felt with Maddie. But you will love again, she is out there and she dose exist. Don't ask me who it is or what she looks like but just know this; have faith my boy. Have faith." All of a sudden I realized who was talking to me and I haven't seen him in over 12 years. "Grandpa Fisher? Is that you?" I silently called out in a whisper and with tears in my eyes with a lump in my throat behind my tears. Then with out a blink the shadow grow brighter and brighter as the image of the figure becomes clearer. "My boy it has been way too long since the day of my passing and you have become more of a better man then me. I am proud of you and I have never said that as a father or as your grandfather but throughout the years I have been keeping a close eye on you and your sister both. I wasn't able to save your sister from your father's manipulation but I was able to save you. God has blessed me on giving me the responsibility of being your guardian angel and I wouldn't have any other way. But, to get back to the topic on hand, I understand that you don't feel like your normal. Your right, you're not but you are special. Let me give you a little insight on your future and I think it will raise your spirits, I know for fact that love for you is hard and stressful. I know that the last lover you had done you wrong one too many times and I'm sorry but that's life. You will have your good moments were you feel deeply in love and you will have your depressing moments were you feel as if you're better off in your grave. But, in the near future you will meet someone who is innocent, kind hearted, beautiful and lovely to be around with. She will come to you and all you have to do is be patient, she will come sooner than you think." I couldn't believe my ears and I can feel the pits of my heart fade away, and then I start to cry. I haven't cried that hard since the day my grandfather died. I thought I was going to die because my heart was pounding with life and light. He put his hand on my heart and I felt the warmth of his hand relieve my tender heart's darkness.

With in an hour of being with my grandfather I felt a strange sensation in my head and all a sudden I felt light headed, my grandfather said "Well my boy, it's time for me to get back with the father up above. Just remember if you ever need me I'm always at your side. Oh, the boss man gives his regards and said to live life with an open heart." As I watched him disappear into a ball of light and the next thing I knew I was sitting in my bed at the back of the house. I started to ask myself if that was a dream until I felt my pillow and it was soaked but I thought it was from sweating. The next day I couldn't believe my ears when I was asked out and realized that what happened the night before was true and I became very happy and faithful to know that I have my grandfather as my guardian angel.


End file.
